The turkey is right! Who gave Christmas the right to invade a whole month earlier, especially when one of the greatest holidays happens to reside in November? Thanksgiving, dedicated to marathon cooking, delicious food, delicious leftovers and football (if you like that sort of thing), is under siege. And, I for one am shocked and appalled!
First, the disclaimer: I love Christmas. I like the lights, the caroling, the tree, the whole nine yards or 12 days if you prefer. But, I’m also a fan of holidays in their place and Christmas belongs in December. Not a month before. Not a month after (Yes, I’m talking to you year-round, Christmas lights people). With that said, I’ve allowed some exceptions. The whole Black Friday as the unofficial start of the holiday season? Fine. Technically, there is still 6 or 7 days left in November, but I’ll let that slide. And, of course the few days between Christmas day and New Year’s. Yes, by all means keep up your tree, keep playing those carols, keep making me nauseous with your unfathomable love of egg-nog.
But, that is where I draw the line. No putting up your holiday display of Christmas trees, animatronic reindeer and that god awful listening station for Christmas CDs right after Halloween (Yes, I’m talking to you Wal-Mart)! And musical artists? No promoting your Christmas CD, track, instrumental, whatever until Black Friday. I’m pretty sure you can appreciate the awkwardness of being peddled “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” while searching for a Grim Reaper costume. In fact, I know you can. It’s the same awkwardness you felt in that late summer, recording session where you belted out your melodic runs for Let It Snow.
Call me the Grinch. Call me Scrooge. And if the calendar says anything other than November 25th through December 31st when you do, then your assessment of my demeanor is a 100% correct. Someone has got to take a stand against the outright audacity of Christmas! Someone has got to stand up for the little holidays and protect their right to be celebrated without the overbearing nature of mistletoe and candy canes! Today, I take that stand. And on Thanksgiving Day, I will raise my turkey leg high and be proud that I didn’t give that presumptuous, overhyped and premature holiday an ounce of celebration until it was due.