Yes, this is a Wednesday Wild Card. Yes, it’s Thursday. Someone maybe haunting my blog and randomly posting late posts. No, just playing. Wednesday was just such a busy day for me, there was no time left to squeeze in blog, so here you go.
So, Halloween randomness. Have you ever wondered if you’d be the person to survive a horror flick? And, not just because one of your friends took some crappy FB quiz and is now asking you to humiliate yourself as well, but for reals. Like when you’re watching Mike Myers carve up his latest victim, do you ever wonder, could that be me? Or, could I be his sister (Jamie Lee, not the new girl) who always miraculously comes out unharmed?
Well, I thought about it, and looking at the types of people who are offed in these thing, honestly, the odds don’t look good. Let’s break it down shall we.
1. I’m gullible. If that doesn’t say victim, I don’t know what does.
2. My curiosity is rampant. Yeah, common sense says don’t go down the creepy, dark hallway, but what if cookies are down there? I’ll never know unless you look.
3. I’m African-American. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spare me the comments, but I’m sorry. When was the last time a black character ever survived a horror movie? I can think of only one. Brandy in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. Even with the Scary Movie franchise, Brenda has died twice, Shorty has had his brain removed, and Ray, well… Ray was just weird.
4. I’m not a virgin. (Hope, Mom’s not reading this one).
5. I don’t have a deep, dark, painful past from whence to draw the strength to fight off an attacker. Just the usual stuff.
The good news:
1. I’m happy-go-lucky. The guy who provides the comic relief at least survives the first movie. Maybe, not the sequel.
2. I don’t have huge breasts. My man boobs are smallish in nature, so a killer may not be drawn to me.
3. I’m African-American. Cedric the Entertainer said it best. When stuff goes down, we’re the first ones out. We’ll start running if we see someone else running, and won’t think to ask why we’re doing it until we’re a safe distance away. And, I’m up to three miles now, so unless it’s a super-fast-mutated, 28 days, Dawn Of The Dead, mega zombie, I can put some distance between me and would be attacker.
So, what’s your favorite scary flick? And, will you be watching it this Halloween? Is there anything you can’t handle when it comes to horror? For me (in no particular order), it’s zombies, torture, and creepy children.