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“You Didn’t Call Me, So I’m Not Your Friend Anymore!”

14 Oct

So, I had another interesting conversation with the Libertarian (if you don’t know who that is, click here). This time, the subject was friendship. It didn’t start out that way, which is how most of our interesting conversations go. One minute we’re talking about movies or work, and all of sudden, the chat turns super serious and thought provoking.

Anyway, if you haven’t guessed by now, my friend has a very strong opinion about everything. When it comes to friendship, he has what I like to call a “zero-tolerance” policy. Apparently, if someone he considers a friend doesn’t contact him in some way, shape or form for a long period of time, he doesn’t consider them a friend anymore. When asked how long is a long period of time, he gives a vague answer: anywhere from a six-months to a week. Like if he calls you and you don’t return his call the same day, that’s possible grounds for termination. Then, there’s the follow-up question: What if they have a really good excuse? I was diagnosed with cancer. A loved one died and I was distraught. I have T-Mobile as my cellular provider. Answer: doesn’t matter. No excuse is good enough to warrant non-communication.

Of course, my mind is blown. I have friends who don’t keep in touch with me often and vice-versa, but I still consider them friends. In fact, for a select few, I’d drop everything to rescue them if their backs were really against a wall. Is that not enough? And, what about social networking (yes, it’s relevant!)? In the age of Facebook, Twitter, and to a lesser extent MySpace, does not logging onto a friend’s page to check their status equal keeping up with them? Sure, it ain’t real conversation, but hey, it’s something. By not keeping up with someone’s everyday, are you less of friend then you think you are?

I say, sometimes my life is boring. If my friends would rather skip the boring parts and be there for the really important stuff, it’s okay by me.

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7 Comments

Posted by on October 14, 2009 in Uncategorized

 

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7 responses to ““You Didn’t Call Me, So I’m Not Your Friend Anymore!”

  1. Jennifer Yarter

    October 14, 2009 at 9:52 am

    How ’bout those old friends that read your blog regularly, but rarely comment, but still think of you often? And those same old friends who come to see you once a year when we’re in the same city?

    🙂

    I disagree with your friend. Life gets in the way of really frequent communication sometimes, but length of time between chats does not define a friendship.

     
  2. cwriter79

    October 14, 2009 at 11:58 am

    You know what, Jen? I’ll take that kind of friend any day! Hope all is well!

     
  3. Michael Rogers

    October 14, 2009 at 6:46 pm

    *HUGS* Friendship fits all forms, even with friends who kind of suck at keeping in touch —> Michael =o( Much love.

     
  4. William

    October 15, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    Well, I believe in communication, whatever form that may come in. I mean there are reasons that someone isn’t able to contact you, but I don’t think that just because you haven’t spoken in a while equates to you ending the relationship. I know there are some friends of mine who I will speak with a few times a year, but it is quality over quantity that I cherish. It was said “Absence makes the heart grow founder.”

     
  5. The Libertarian

    October 16, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    It’s apparent you were not actively listening and paying attention to our conversation. Perhaps you were forming your thoughts about what you would write about me in your next blog post.

    Your post definitely misrepresent who I am and what I stand for. You had a prime opportunity to get to know me, but you chose to create you own version of who I am. And that’s unfortunate.

    Think about this: There are 24 hours in a day and 60 minutes in an hour, totaling almost 1500 minutes per day. If I took the time out of my day or life to reach out to you, can you not make an effort and give the the common courtesy of a return phone call on the same day? It only take a minute or so. I could have call anyone of my many friends, but I chose you. Because I think you are important to me.

    If on the other hand, I must wait several days or weeks before you return my call, then that also tell me how you value me. You see, those things that we value most, we talk about more. And those people that we value most, we not only stay in contact with, but we enjoy engaging and experiencing life with them more frequently.

    So, it’s value issue. What and who do you value most?

    Nevertheless, I have never severed a relationship because of no contact, but I do put those relationships in their proper perspective.

    Why is it that we’ll return phone calls of customers, clients, potential employers or job recruiters immediately, but we won’t do the same for those we call friends?

    Again, it’s a value issue.

    Let’s be real. Not everyone is a friend. And that’s okay. Some are mere acquaintances.

    I personally pay attention to ones action, in addition to what he says. It’s so easy to give lip service to friendship as oppose to actually be a friend.

    You see, relationships are about relating to one another. I tried to give you a clear description of how to relate to me. Please don’t treat me the way you want to be treated. Treat me the way I want to be treated. And I will do the same for you. These are the principles by which I live.

    If this is something you can deal with, then we’ll be friends for life. If not, then I surely understand if you must go your own way. So, let me know.

    Sincerely,

    The Libertarian

    (PS: I’ll deal with your other post about me later.)

     
  6. cwriter79

    October 16, 2009 at 6:46 pm

    Dear Libertarian,

    First, let me apologize if I misrepresented anything you said to me. Clearly, you miss took my personal feelings about friendship as an insult to what you believe. Never in my post did I say you were wrong for what you believe or were an evil person because you believe so strongly about certain things. Convictions are what makes a man great. I simply said, that I disagreed.

    Also, if I really wasn’t actively listening or paying attention to our conversation, then the efforts to call you on a regular basis since then clearly mean nothing to you, and that’s cool. You see, disagreeing with someone doesn’t mean disrespecting them. I meant no disrespect with either of the posts that featured you and I’m sorry if that’s how you saw them. If anything, I would of hoped you would of seen them for what they were: an example of how much you have profoundly affected me.

    With all that being said, it has been a rule of mine to rectify any issues that someone has with this blog publicly, if they are valid. While I don’t agree that yours are (again, no disrespect intended), you have nonetheless outed yourself as “the libertarian.” So, I will issue an apology, and vow never to write about you again, because obviously, it’s just not worth it.

    Sincerely,

    Tyrese

    P.S. Thank you for offering the second most negative comment on my blog. I shall suffer this arrow proudly.

     
  7. The Libertarian

    October 17, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    While I do think your apology should have been part of this thread, I do accept it.
    https://wackywebwritings.wordpress.com/2009/10/16/to-the-libertarian-i-say-im-sorry/

     

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