It’s another Wednesday and here’s a wild card I’ve been saving for a couple of weeks now. So, I go to the grocery store every two weeks. Usually, it’s on a Friday because that’s when I get paid and sometimes, there’s nothing else better to do. Before leaving the house, I make sure I have two things: my shopping list and my reusable bags. Without either of them, the whole trip is a total disaster. The list keeps me from overspending, walking around the store in circles, and buying cereal and not milk to go with said cereal. The bags keep me from being buried alive in plastic.
That’s right. I’m a saver of plastic bags. Don’t know when it really started. One day, I just bought something and decided the bag used to transport the purchase home could be used for other things. Unfortunately, those other things never really materialized, leaving me stuck with pantry full of plastic. And, I guess you could say it’s because I have a conscience and care about the Earth. But secretly, I’m kind of a pack rat. So, to break my habit, I bought reusable grocery bags; their plastic counterparts composing the bulk of my problem.
Well apparently, no one told me using reusable grocery bags turns a person green, and I was blissfully unaware until a cashier commented, “Saving the Earth, I see.” The “who me?” look I gave him only made him go on and on about how plastic was destroying the world and how he wished his store would do more to promote recycling and reusing. All I really wanted him to do was ring faster, so I could get the hell out of there. Finally, I confessed. “Look dude, I’m really only doing this to clear out my pantry. I’ve amassed quite a collection.” To which, he proceeded to give me suggestions about how to get rid of my remaining bags. They weren’t half bad and some of them are working quite nicely.
Okay, so I had a point with all this. Am I really an environmentalist? No. The things I do for the Earth, I do because they’re convenient. Recycling? They gave me this nifty blue bin that’s emptied every Tuesday by someone else. Reducing? Unplugging and turning off lights guarantees me a lower light bill. Reusing? Well, I’m getting rid of my bags! One day, my guests go to retrieve a pantry item and not have their feet showered with plastic. In short, don’t make me a hero supermarket guy, it’s still really all about me.
Bonus Questions (Feel free to answer): Is there a reusable bag etiquette? Can I go into a store with another store’s reusable bag? Is that frowned upon? Is there a shorter way to say “reusable bag?” Maybe, reusabag?